hazy stars

Lesson 8: When Life Give You Lemons...

The worst thing about lemons is they are really acidic. In fact, raw fish can be completely "cooked" by the mere acidity of lemons. Women have been naturally bleaching their hair with lemons for centuries. Lemons are some powerful stuff.

If you squeeze lemon juice in your eye, it is going to burn like H-E-double hockey sticks.

Open wounds and brittle cuticles are prime victims of a lemon's acid.

So when life gives you lemons, take heed while making lemonade. Cover all open wounds and shield your eyes. There is no reason to make it hurt anymore than necessary.

What is the source of this crazy metaphor?

Life keeps reminding me that things do not always go my way. Bad things happen to good people. Accidents happen when you least expect them. In fact, they happen at the worst time possible. Nothing is constant. No one is invincible.

All we can do is control the controllables and manage the uncontrollables. We cannot always choose our outcomes. Sometimes we are forced to deal with bad situations. It is how we deal with those situations, our reactions, that determines the overall outcomes of uncontrollable events. We can choose to learn and move forward, or regress and move backward.

Lemons are sour. They seep into vulnerable open wounds and burn them with acid. But the pain will eventually subside. We must do the best with the situations we are given. Just a spoon full of sugar... and lemons go from sour to refreshing -maybe even therapeutic.

Life hurts. Let it burn. Add some sugar. Then relax.

Ending quote from Gone With the Wind: "Tomorrow is another day."

Lesson 7: Do Not Waste A Person's Time

Connecting and networking is valuable, but only when you have something of value to add to the relationship. People are busy. Time is sacred. Making a connection is more than just meeting a new person and shooting the breeze. The other person needs to know you have an agenda and will not be wasting their time.

Before connecting with someone new it is helpful to do research on the person. Where does he work? What position does she hold in the company? What is his educational background? Where is she from? Hobbies? Family?

The more information you can learn about a person, the more likely you are to find commonalities. People like people who are like themselves. It creates a sense of connectedness and trust.

The next time you meet someone new, be an over-achiever. Go above and beyond to learn everything about that person. Prepare questions and create a (mental) agenda of topics you wish to cover. This assures you will not waste the person's time as well as impress and flatter him or her.

This also goes for business meeting ettiquette. Respect the time of your colleagues. Show up prepared and organized!!! It helps everyone in the long run!!!

Lesson 6: PROOF READ ... everything

People can get away with calling the first mistake an accident. The second time one makes the same mistake there are no excuses. Making the same mistake twice is a combination of laziness and ignorance.

What is worse than making a mistake? Getting called out on your mistake. What is worse than getting called out? Getting called out by someone important. And worse than that? Being reminded that it was the second time they had to tell you about your mistake.

Obviously, this recently happened to me.

As a writer, your credibility heavily depends on proof reading. An extremely well written, researched, and riveting piece can be completely ruined by one typo. That is all people will focus on. My mentor, Artie Isaac, taught me that the first time I made a typo. He reminded me of this again today when I made yet another grammatical error.

First time around, oops is ok. Second time, not so much.

Lesson? Always proof your work. Especially, if is a document being presented to coworkers. Your writing is a reflection of your abilities. If you want people to perceive you as intelligent, do not make simple grammatical errors. They will haunt you. 

Lesson 5: ASK FOR HELP

Being stubborn is a good trait, but only to a point. It is good to be firm and stay true to your values and principles.

HOWEVER, we cannot expect ourselves to know everything. Nor can we do everything. Sometimes we all need a little help. But it can be hard to ask for help.

For some of us, our stubbornness makes it very hard to ask for help. We like to think we can do it all by ourselves. We do not want others to know we need help. We think that asking for help makes us vulnerable and accepting help makes us appear weak. Fear of being vulnerable and weak paralyzes us.

Not asking for help can have severe repercussions. Our lives, jobs, relationships are dependent on the help of others.

Asking for help can be hard if the lines of communication are closed. Some people are more approachable than others and some are virtually in accessible. It is our responsibility to break down the barriers. Unfortunately, today's society operates on a vertical scale. We place ourselves on the vertical scale based on perceived self-worth. Instead of everyone's needs being equal across a horizontal spectrum, the value of our needs is based on a vertical ladder. The higher on the ladder we are, the more important our needs are.

Some of us fear asking those we perceive to be more important for help. Some of us want to be asked for help from those afraid to ask for help. Some of us who are perceived as being too important to ask for help really need to ask for help and do not feel like we can ask anyone for help.

I know what you are thinking. "If you say help one more time I'm going to virtually punch you."

I just want to drive the point home: ASK FOR HELP. Everyone. I do not care who you are and how you perceive yourself and others. If you need it, ASK FOR HELP. And then TAKE THE HELP. And then HELP SOMEONE ELSE. HELP HELP HELP. It's good for you.

Lesson 4: Are You Afraid of the Dark?

This week, Artie Isaac treated a group of us Youngsters to a rather delicious lunch at The Indian Oven and an even more enjoyable conversation.

The topic: What would you do if you had no fear?

While waiting for our food, we were each given the assignment of writing down 3 things. What would you do if you had no fear? What are the obstacles preventing you from overcoming these fears? What fears have you overcome in the past year?

This is an exercise that everyone should take a moment to complete.

What did I learn from the experience? No one is exempt from fear. Fear is both harmful and healthy. It paralyzes and it activates.

Fear and stress are interrelated, if not interchangeable terms. Both can stimulate the same physiological responses. Both are debilitating as well as detrimental to our well being. Fears can prevent us from achieving true actualization. Fear is paralyzing.

Fear is also a natural response to threatening stimulus. Fear can protect us from being harmed. There are reasons why man should fear potential harmful or fatal stimuli. Fear heightens our senses and enables us to make split second decisions. Think of the fight-or-flight response. Fear is activating.

Everyone has different coping mechanisms for dealing with fear. Articulating fear is a powerful step to take in overcoming it. It allows you to organize your thoughts and feelings as well as put fear in prospective.

Fear makes us vulnerable. Vulnerability in itself is a great fear. In order to overcome our fear, sometimes we must make ourselves vulnerable to others by confiding in them. Talking about my fears with my fellow Youngsters was an invigorating experience. Some empathized and shared the same fears. This made me feel better that I was not alone. Others provided positive feedback on how to overcome those fears. And some just listened.

It is hard to open up the emotional inner workings of our mind to others, especially co-workers. The fact that we all could do it so openly, without judgment and with complete support, shows how truly special and unique the Young Isaac team is. Hopefully you all have the same type of camaraderie and trust with your fellow co-workers.

The 3rd Installment of HTGP

This is quite possibly one of the easiest blogs to write. Let us recap. Artie, my mentor first - boss second, has impressive credentials. Including working for the big dogs at Ogilvy & Mather in NYC. I've made it my job to snoop through his old files. Recently, I found something quite interesting written by Andrew Kershaw for the Ogilvy & Mather associates. It is called, "How to Be Promoted." Artie added on a few of his own suggestions and passed it around Young Isaac in 1990. I'm reviving it since the information is just as relevant today as it was then.

Review:

1. Listen
2. Ask questions
3. Read
4. Write well
5. Be a good presenter
6. Don't talk too much
7. Be sure of your facts
8. Speak out
9. Do more than asked
10. Anticipate

And now, without further ado...

11. MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOTICED

Or heard. The squeaky wheel and all that. But let it be a musical squeak. A Hungarian proverb says, rather crudely, "Not even a Mother can hear the words of her mute child."

(Artie wears a bow tie. I blind others with my hair. How do you stand out?)

12. DON'T ASK FOR A RAISE

When you ask for a raise, your boss -- if he is good -- will feel that he has failed. Either you are worth a raise, in which case he will feel guilty because he did not get you one. Or you are not worth a raise, in which case he will feel guilty because he did not explain things to you.

The proper course is to ask for more work, or for more responsibility. Oddly enough what matters is not what you earn now, but what you will earn in the future.

13. THANK PEOPLE

A lot of people, little people, will help smooth your career, and make you more successful. Be sure to thank them, loudly, and in public, or in writing. You graciousness will redound to your credit.

14. HAVE VARIED INTERESTS

Being good at a job is okay, but it tends to make you deadly dull if that is all you know. Most people have one hobby or special interest -- the outstanding people in this world are able to converse intelligently about dozens and dozens of subjects. (Note: see Ashley)

The more you know, the more valuable and interesting you are. And let you interests be known to the world; don't hide your light under a bushel.

15. KEEP FIT

Exercise, take holidays. Nobody can maintain intellectual equilibrium without physical exercise and relaxation. Your cheerfulness, your concentration, and your optimism --which should be infectious -- are adversely affected by keeping your nose to the grindstone for too long.

I've given you fifteen tips for getting promoted. None will help if you are not good at your job.

None will help if you do not work hard. And none will help if you don't enjoy what you do, your colleagues in the agency and the client.

If anyone thinks, in years to come, that I gave bad advice, ask for your money back! (This is Andrew speaking, not me. You will not get money from me).

I've not mentioned the key issue. How important is it to you to get promoted? How important is career progress in relation to family, home life, your hobby, adequate leisure, etc.

Don't be surprised -- ever -- that the person who puts career ahead of all else gets promoted faster.

Until next time...

Round 2 on HTGP

You've been up all night waiting for this. Do you have the last five suggestions memorized?

Review:

1. Listen
2. Ask questions
3. Read
4. Write well
5. Be a good presenter

Hungry for more?

6. DON'T TALK TOO MUCH (Oh this one's a doosy for Ashley)

My greatest annoyance is when, before being shown advertising, I am told: "Here is the background." The consumer or viewer is not told the "background." Why inflict it on me -- especially since the chances are I know it anyway.

It should take not more than a sentence of two to explain things. If it requires more, the idea is bad or you are making a hash of it. Great ideas are simple; they are easy to communicate.

7. BE SURE OF YOUR FACTS

Half the time, when people present things to me, they do not know all the facts. Don't let this happen to you.

8. SPEAK OUT

You are the most junior person in a meeting; but something worthwhile has occurred to you. Don't be shy: Speak Out.

Opinions and suggestions do not recognize age, experience, or seniority: Speak Out. Let them find their level and worth.

Our classic story is of the account executive who was on his way to present a new campaign. Before he got to the client, a new, unauthorized, unique storyboard fell into his hands. He sold the new campaign -- at a great risk to himself, and the agency. It was a superb campaign. And he was promoted instantly.

9. DO MORE THAN ASKED

When you get instructions to do a job, first consider how the assignment can be widened. Ask yourself: is it possible to be useful by doing more than I have been asked?

Probably the surest way of noticing outstanding performers. They always go beyond the narrow task asked for.

10. ANTICIPATE

You must anticipate your bosses' intentions. During reconnaissance for the Battle of Waterloo, Wellington dropped his glove on a little hill. One of his general returned it. Later, Wellington said to him, "I want you battery of guns where I dropped my glove." "Yes, my lord, I've already done it."

Lucille, my secretary, says: "Don't worry about a thing." What she means is, "Don't worry about the details of where and how -- I've anticipated every eventuality, and made provisions." And so she has, by God.

And thus, I leave you to ponder these next five tips. Bottom line: Unless you know your stuff, keep your yapper shut. Nothing can come from nothing, so if you know something you better speak up. Go above and beyond the call of duty. And most importantly, work like the masters play chess. Always anticipate the other player's next moves and think 5 steps ahead.

With these tools you are well on your way to going from: "Yes, sir" to: "Get me some coffee, kid."

I leave you to anticipate the next installment...

How To Get Promoted

Do I have your attention now? Excellent.

When I can rip myself from the grueling task of learning everything there is to know about everything, I like to spend some time at work rummaging through Artie Isaac's things. Which is completely acceptable since Artie is the one who said that nothing he has is off limits. Once I told him I stole his book and he told me that nothing he keeps at work is entirely his own and everyone should have access to everything. He said that no one should keep anything at work that they do not want anyone else to find or to borrow. To me this means, "Go ahead and snoop and take whatever you want".

Artie is a really fascinating man. You can imagine how cool his things are. The other day I stumbled across a memo he sent out to all his YI employees in August 1990. The heading of his memo is, "How to Build a Career." Attached to the memo is an article written by Andrew Kershaw for Ogilvy & Mather, New York. It is entitled, "How To Get Promoted". Now I will tempt you with its content.

1. LISTEN

Michael Ball (smart man, no clue who he is) says, “Many people have talked themselves out of a promotion, or out of some new business - nobody has ever listened himself out of a promotion." Don't talk unless you have something to say. Chatter annoys busy people, or your bosses, who prefer to listen to their own voices. (Ouch).

2. ASK QUESTIONS

Good questions can be memorable. Be sure they are good, and not ho-hum. A good question is one that elicits this response: "Hm, I don't know, I've not thought of that before." (This of course does not apply to the question; "Who do you think would win in a fight: Brittany Spears or Paris Hilton?)

3. READ

Read everything. (Point for Ashley). Almost indiscriminately. (That means reading my blog). Learn to read fast, and to skip.

4. WRITE WELL

Short, clear, crisp sentences. No spelling mistakes. Good grammar. Read all the books on good writing and practice. If you are not a foreigner, try harder. Foreigners write better. The greatest secrets of good writing are:
-Never dictate.
-Always edit or rewrite. (Guilty of never doing either).
-If, after many attempts, you cannot shorten it, it may be ok. (Oh, my. This blog has a long way to go).

5. BE A GOOD PRESENTER

Learn to speak properly. Watch for all the little things in my book. Above all: Practice. Presenting is theater. (All the world's a stage anyone? Buehler?) Act it out, persuade, do not try to be dry, impartial, solemn. Rehearsal is the key to learning to be a good presenter.

Five down and 16 more to go. I'll let these first five sit in. Chew, swallow, digest, and absorb them. And stay tuned.

Lessons: No.3 Moderation

This is a lesson I struggle with more often than I would like. Whether it be eating, drinking, spending money, working etc ... I have rarely been satisfied by "one bite". This is not a problem if the overindulgence is harmless. No one ever died from eating excessive amounts of broccoli. Unfortunately, the things we do in excess tend to be detrimental to our well-being.

"It is better to rise from life as from a  banquet -- neither thirsty nor drunken" -Aristotle.

Being impulsive has its advantages. It keeps me on my toes. I love challenges and living in the moment. And it also has its disadvantages. For instance, I decide I want ice cream. Instead of eating 2 normal scoops, I end up eating a whole half gallon. Not all impulses should be acted on. At least not in excess.

There is a trend of attaching the suffix "-aholic" to objects or actions that people obsess over. The dictionary meaning for -aholic                     (ə häl′ik): One who exhibits an obsessive need for or interest in (something specified).  One that is addicted to or compulsively in need of. For example: workaholic, chocoholic, shopaholic. 

Everything in moderation. My mother loves to say that to me. It is easier said than done. For me, sometimes it is easier to completely abstain from something. Abstinence prevents the temptation to indulge in excess.

"To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation" -Saint Augustine.

Then again, life is way too short for complete restraint. I don't believe in denial. Especially of the things that bring the greatest pleasure. If you love something, then let yourself indulge every once in awhile. Have your cake and eat it too. (Afterall, what other reason would you have a cake than to eat it?) "Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit" William Somerset Maugham.

Just take heed. Moderation may not always be the most attractive option, but it is usually the best one for you. "Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance" -Mark Twain.

Lessons: No.2 - Self Loyalty

"This above all: to thine ownself be true" -William Shakespeare.

My mother has said this to me a countless number of times throughout the years. It has always been a little motto of mine.

My decision to go into advertising was not random or impulsive. (Although, impulsiveness is a weakness of mine I've been fighting for years.) Before making the career leap, I knew that I needed to be properly educated. So I sought council from Artie Isaac, a man whom I perceived to be a genius in the field. He graciously accepted my meetings and serviced my requests for knowledge. It was not my intention to solicit a job from him. All I wanted was to know what I had to do to get to where I wanted to go.

But then he had to go and say something that changed my mind. It was at that moment I knew I had to work for him. We were sitting in a small tea cafe, enjoying a rich chocolate cookie and great conversation when ... BAM he hits me with a metaphor laced with a powerful message. My version is the cookie version, since we were eating a cookie. For others I have heard the potato chip version. Make it what you will.

"I'm a cookie man. I love cookies. My family loves cookies. We buy cookies, eat cookies, and make cookies. However, I will not sell cookies. At the end of the day I do not want to be know as the peddler of junk food."

The bottom line is you cannot sacrifice your values and morals for the purpose of greed. Otherwise you will be risking not only your self-identity, but also your sanity and well-being.

This is why I work for Young Isaac. We help important people sell important things, which is important to me.